It’s no secret that some people don’t feel comfortable with conventional sexualities. In most cases, these categories that society applies to them can’t fully explain who they are as human beings. Unfortunately, this is what happens with men and women who consider themselves to be bi-curious.
And in an overtly confusing world that we live in, these people can’t figure out how to go on about their desires and fantasies. Nevertheless, we’re willing to talk about guys who’d like to explore additional possibilities outside their traditional heterosexual relationships. Moreover, our article aims to provide dating tips for bisexuals and those who feel like they might be interested in both genders.
What Does Bicurious Mean?
Ever since the early ’90s, people began to identify themselves as bicurious. And although the term appears in Merriam-Webster dictionaries from the ’80s, most folks still don’t know what it means. But hey! There’s a time and place for everything. So, let us explain it in a couple of short sentences.
Namely, bicurious is a term that means that you belong somewhere between being a bi-sexual and a hetero/homosexual. It’s a fluid sexual orientation for people showing signs of sexual attraction to someone who’s not their preferred gender. In short, guys who enjoy sleeping with women but would still maybe have gay sex are bicurious.
Porn Is a Safe Place
So in case you feel like experimenting with sexual experiences, but you don’t consider yourself gay, there’s no need to go all-out immediately. The whole trick is to start nice and easy. Hence, you should try watching homosexual porn first. Pornography is a great way to begin your sexual exploration. Here’s why.
Firstly, watching something from the comfort of your home, alone, will help get rid of the stress you’d find in a person-to-person situation. You’ll give yourself time to understand how you feel towards certain things. And if you’re bicurious, exploring gay porn will allow you to realize if it’s for you in real-life.
On the other hand, porn is a great place to discover all other deeply buried things about yourself. From various kinks to obscure fetishes, you can make your sex life all so interesting by watching someone else do it on the screen. Of course, you can apply it later on.
Try Dating Apps
There’s no doubt our daily lives are different from what they were just a decade ago. Technology is developing so fast that it’s sometimes hard to keep up. And with all these changes, the way we date and meet new people is no longer the same. Most young people use dating apps, such as Tinder and Badoo.
One of the biggest pros dating apps offer is the comfort of your home. You don’t need to be physically present to engage in flirting with the other person. Hence, if you’re looking to experiment with your sexuality, using one of these apps just might be the right thing.
If you’re willing to try your luck with gay men, you can always make a profile on one of the apps and choose what sex you’re interested in. And if you match with someone, you can always chat first, without meeting up. It’s much easier than going immediately on a date and feeling uncertain about your choice.
Although this might seem like a bit of a stretch, it’s still worth mentioning. Namely, in case you’re a straight man and dating a woman, but you’re also attracted to men (bicurious), you can always suggest to your partner that you try out a threesome. But, this threesome will be a male-male-female combination.
In case your partner agrees to it, you’ll be in an ideal position to explore and compare both genders while having intercourse with them. It’s probably the best way to see what suits them best for men who identify as bicurious. That way, you’ll understand if you’re a bisexual man for real.
Learn to Manage Shame
Unfortunately, it’s pretty common for people to feel shame for doing one thing or another. Depending on the thing that triggers it, various factors contribute to it. However, social stigmas are mostly the cause of shame for bisexual men and women when talking about bi-curiosity. But how can you change that?
Well, most therapists would agree that you should unhitch what you do from who you are. Although it doesn’t seem simple to some, it actually is. Namely, there’s no need to simplify your existence based on your sexual desires and fantasies. Every person is a mixture of many ideas, wishes, and dreams.
Moreover, if we identify ourselves simply by what we do, we put our happiness into the hands of others. On the other hand, straight men who date women but also enjoy intercourse with other males isn’t anything shameful. It’s okay to be a bisexual guy.
It Does Not Mean You Are Gay
Being a bi guy doesn’t make you a homosexual. Although there’s nothing wrong with being gay, bi-curiosity is something else. Also, your sexual preferences shouldn’t equate to your gender identity. All these concepts of being straight, gay, this or that, are the work of other people feeling the need to arrange things in some sort of order.
But being a product of someone else’s closed-mindedness isn’t something one should strive for. There’s nothing wrong with being different from the people that surround you. Moreover, being unique in a world of clones can be more than satisfying. Sure, you’re bound to come across barricades along the way, but what would life be without them? Yup — dull and predictable.
A Therapist Could Help
An article like this wouldn’t be complete without mentioning professional help. Sure, some people don’t need it, but it doesn’t hurt to talk to someone who specializes in helping people resolve mental issues. And no, we’re not suggesting your sexual identity is a mental problem, but the surrounding factors might make you believe it is. So, it’s important to realize if it’s time to go talk to a therapist.
In case you’re having real-life issues caused by your sexual insecurity, it might be the right moment to make an appointment with a professional. There’s no need to hesitate or feel wrong for doing so. It’s normal to talk about your inner dilemmas. Don’t allow your fears to control your life when you can conquer them.
And if you choose not to visit a therapist, don’t forget that there’s no shame in being who you are. It might be different from your friends, family, or co-workers, but at the end of the day — you’re not meant to be a perfect clone of what society deems normal. So, feel free to explore yourself, your body, and the things that feel good, as long as they don’t hurt or harm others around you.